Enough

Welp, here I am again friends and family. It's summer and the last time I blogged we were all sad because we had lost my grandpa. Now we are in the middle of trying to sell a house in a horrible market. Never a dull moment. When it's a trying day I have these crazy thoughts like, "The house isn't selling, the baby has been crying his head off, and why can't I loose this last 15lbs?" I know it's horrible.

A few weeks ago I went through this awesome time with the Lord. I felt moved to fast for a week. I fasted from food, screens, and I also put away the scale. It was so liberating. I actually set aside time to be with the Lord. The pressure to check my e-mail was, I'll be honest, mostly gone. I wasn't sure how it would be because I had never fasted before. I feel very American when I say, I was afraid of being hungry. I saw early on that it was about God being my sustenance for everything and that alone was satisfying.

While fasting, I did this little study on some women in the Bible. It was uplifting and encouraging in many ways. I think I may highlight some of them over the next few weeks. I wondered if they ever had thoughts of screaming babies, houses not selling and weight not lost. Maybe they did, but you know very few times does it give an abundance of physical descriptions if any. Which is what we mommies tend to get caught up on. I'm wondering even now how much mental energy I've wasted on this.

Let me tell you about Joanna. She is mentioned in Luke 8:3 as a follower of Jesus and the wife of the man that ran Herod's household. It says Herod. The man that sentenced Jesus to death. Do you get how outrageous that is, that this women would follow and support financially someone that could cause conflict in her own home, possible costing her husband his job? That is someone that is so focused on Jesus that nothing else matters. Wow. She refused to be defined by anything because the draw of the Messiah was too much.

It moves me and I hope it moves you too. I mean, if during my fast I realized it was about having communion with the Holy Spirit and him being my sustenance, then what has changed in the past few weeks? Why would I be going back to the same behaviors, the same mental patterns? Worrying about this and that and if God is really listening. That time that I set aside to be with the Lord was doing no favor to the Lord. It is I that need him. It is my sinful nature that needs his redemption and sanctification. Joanna and the other women that followed Jesus got that. They got it.

Yes, babies will still cry, houses will be sold and bought, and the lbs will come and go, but God.......and that is were I have to stop my blog tonight. But God...Lord......Jesus......Holy Spirit....Messiah.....He is enough.