Mothering my mother

I am not the daughter that is dealing with an aging mother at this point in my life, but my mother is and so are many others. So, here's a short story that is just a little glimpse in honor of all of them.


“I’m going to go and see Rachel and the new baby, Mom” Anna said, walking into her aging mothers room.
“Rachel?” her mother said with a little bit of a grimace on her slim face.
Anna knew her mother had once again forgotten what she was talking about. It was painful to see her mother forget the things that would normally have brought such joy.
“I told you that girl was going on too many car dates unchaperoned. Now, a baby!” she said grief stricken with this news she had just pieced together. “That’s okay,” she said, straitening her petite frame. “We will get through this. She can live with your daddy and me. We will help..”
Anna interrupted, “No, mom. This is Rachel and Michael’s third child. They’ve been married for fifteen years. You remember.” She needed so badly for her mother to remember. “And dad has been gone over a year and half now. You’re living here with me and Tom.” she finished with a sigh, raising her voice as she spoke.
Anna didn’t really know why she did that. Raising her voice as if speaking in a louder volume would make it somehow clearer to her mother helping her comprehend.
She looked around at the little things in her mother’s room that were left from the large two story home they had brought her from. The memories of a time when everyone who had passed on was still here. Gifts her mother had received over all the past Christmases and Birthdays. Anna wished somehow those times could be preserved the same way the nic-nacs were.
She looked into her mothers frail features and realized she probably wouldn’t be going anywhere today. Anna saw an older version of herself in her mother. They both were short and petite with fair features.
Her mother broke into her thoughts. “What? I know, I know.....did they have a boy or a girl this time?,” she said clearly not knowing, but trying to get her brain to operate in the here and now.
“They had a boy momma. They named him Joseph after daddy. See, look over there on your book shelf. She sent you a picture of him. I was going to go and see them and stay a few hours.” Anna said with her mothers eyes still fixed on the picture of the tiny baby that was the name sake of her Joe. “Momma, do you hear me? Are you listening? I said Tom is going to stay here so if you need anything he’ll be right here.”
“You don’t need to raise your voice. I can hear you.” she answered cooly.
She wasn’t unpleasant, just firm. Anna’s mother never had been an ugly person. She was always quite delightful to be around. She just hated to be reminded by her own daughter of all she had lost and of those that had gone before. It was even more frustrating to be reminded that she was beginning to forget them. She was afraid of the abyss she was slowly slipping into. Even worse was that her own child was having to witness it. She wanted to stay strong.
Anna realized she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere today. Her mother was having another bad day. She sat down slowly in the chair next to her mother with a bitter sweet feeling, sad she was missing the first moments with her brand new grandbaby, but Understanding she was trading it for the last moments with her mother.
Her mother looked over to Anna with a spark in her eye, “Why Anna, when did you get here? I was just getting ready to put on a pot of coffee while I was waiting for your daddy to get home. Would you like a cup? There’s nothing like a hot cup coffee to lift the spirits. You look like you could use one right now. Making a cup of joe for my Joe I always say. Your daddy can join us when he gets here.” She said with a little bit of a giggle.
It made Anna feel good to hear her mother remember one of her common sayings. Even if it was painful to think about the loss of her daddy and her mother’s inability to accept it.
“Sure momma, I’d love a cup of coffee.”

copyright 2010