Hey Moms, a little advice please!!
My theory is that although Baby Wise is a good thing to go by, not all babies are going to go along with it perfectly. Some better than others.
So, what advice can you Moms give me on this? OH, and another thing, when he does go down for a nap it's for 45 minutes and then he wakes up. He gets like 2 and if I'm lucky, 3 of these 45 naps a day. A little side note, I think he might be teething, which could be playing a role in this... Am I expecting too much sleep? I think he's not sleeping enough during the day. Ideally I would like him to take like 2 big naps a day... HELP!!! I'm very frustrated!
Thx!
By Krista Grien
A cry out by a worn out mommy. We all know the days. What do we think though? How close do we stick to a book that claims precious slumber for our little ones if we will just follow their directions. I know moms that love Baby Wise. I know others that would not sell their copy in a garage sale. What do you think? Should Krista feel guilty for not following their rules?
7 comments:
I don't know about Baby Wise, but I can tell you that I did my best to put my now 16 year old on a schedule and she never got it. Even today, she requires very little sleep and is up until between 12-2 am, then gets up at 8 am. I'm not like that; I require 8-9 solid hours of sleep, but she is wired like her dad. I've had to adjust, because I never got either one of the to change.
absolutely no guilt should be felt for listening to your mommy gut and not following that book.
that book was not made for you son.
you were.
I'll admit I'm not a fan of CIO, regardless of the sited source.
But what I think really doesn't matter either because this is your son and you have to be the mother he needs. Which might not be the mother I am or the mother some book suggests you become.
So, since you asked, that's what I think. :)
We absolutely enjoyed Baby Wise and the following books as the advice they gave worked as well as made sense to us. I'm listening to a Growing Kids Gods Way CD right now for pre-adolescence! When our son had a temper tantrum, we isolated him to his crib or play pen, went back a minute or two later, told him once he had self-control and stopped crying he could come out. We left again and kept coming back until he eventually showed self-control. Didn't work at first but as we consistently did it, he learned that we were serious. Ear plugs would have been helpful! Consistency on our part was vital. If he knew we MIGHT cave in, he continued the behavior as with wrong behavior he now tries to get away with that he's 10. We still have to be consistent and keep our word to him regarding consequences. Starting a child off with the principles of Baby Wise now, in my opinion, saves you much frustration and heartache as they grow. I don't think I've heard of any child NOT being able to get in the routine, except those that have medical issues and dietary issues that would prevent it.
I wonder what others have to say about it.
Wendy Young, RN, MSN
I personally love baby wise. That being said I also have 4 children, 2 of which did AWESOME with it and the other 2 I did with slight modifications as they were just different. Even in the books it talks a little about the fact that being do "ridged" on either side of the fence (to lax or super scheduled) isn't good. I did use CIO methods but I also didn't stick to a by the minute schedule and I looked at babies cues.
I can't give specific ideas for this mom, in part because I have no idea how old baby is, how much they are eating, how much playtime is had, and other variable that to me play a big part into the schedule :)
I think those books are good. There good to read and take what applies and don't worry about the rest. I think for especially new moms to take a book and say I must apply this to my child is setting that mom up for failure. I think this for two reasons 1. There is no book in the world (except God's word) that can apply to every baby or every child. 2.The mom thinks what is wrong with me or what is wrong with this child that this is not working? I think schedules are important but the amazing thing about our creater is we are all made diffrent. Some systems will work for some but not for all. I think the best advice is be patient with yourself and stay on your knees.
I read BabyWise 10 years ago when I was pregnant with my first and then heard the concerns that my midwife had, so I had to research the opposite viewpoint--that of Dr. Sears.
My belief is that the only people that Baby Wise works for are those that have babies that are easy to schedule. My first born would have been that way, he was on a schedule from day one, but my second one was VERY sporadic in her feeding schedule! And not just in the first few weeks, she was like that always.
But that said, I don't believe in the feed, sleep, play routine. Even though my son was a very scheduled nurser, I did not do Baby Wise. Babies naturally are soothed and fall asleep when nursed, the other routine is unnatural.
If a baby cries, they need something. I do not believe in having babies cry themselves to sleep. God gave us a natural method of soothing them to sleep, the breast. It is when we try to "train" them to be independent of us, that they become much more dependent and insecure. It's when we ignore those cries that the system inside the child to communicate with us shuts down. Babies understand a lot more than we give them credit for. They need a lot of love, holding, touching, nursing, etc.
I highly recommend checking out The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears.
Shannon
I do agree with the fact that all children are different, but they all need consistency. They have to know that you will respond to them, but you don't have to pick them up every time. They are not the center of the universe and the earlier they learn it, the better.
I have 6 children and my youngest is 4 1/2 months. We learned very early as young parents to put the baby to bed and then let them "self-soothe" and get themselves to sleep. Some of my kids did great and got enough sleep from Day 1, but others have not. I had to learn to let them cry and put them down for a nap even if they weren't sleepy.
Every day after lunch is rest time/nap time. If they don't sleep or cry the whole time, they can get up after an hour. I go in and check on them about every 10-15 minutes if they're screaming and let them know that they can get up when nap time is over. It took #4 three weeks of crying for an hour before he started sleeping at naptime. I guess that is kind of the Babywise "method", but I never read the books.
Just remember that you are the parent and that God gave you this child so that you and he can grow in grace. Your child is a means of sanctification in your life, God knew what you needed. You know when your child is hurting and when he is just wanting his way.
It is also very helpful to have your husband talk to the child and reinforce what you've been doing.
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